FERGUS — Joan Cuming loved many things, including her family, her community and travelling. She also had a way of spreading that love through the community.
Generous with her time and energy, Joan participated in many organizations across Wellington County, from volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Centre Wellington, to being an active member of Melville United Church, to being a book club member, and more.
Known for having an amazing smile and positive attitude, Joan attracted many people to talk to her and had made many friends within the community.
On Dec. 26, Joan, surrounded by family at home, passed away from cancer at the age of 77.
"The first thing that everyone says is she always had a smile, was also very caring, and I had a lot of people say she was the first person they met in Fergus, and she made them feel very welcomed," said Joan's husband John.
Married for 57 years, John said he and Joan spent a lot of time together. As a couple, John said they really enjoyed dancing.
"A lot of people used to say they liked to watch us dance and we danced a lot together, we danced well together. It was something we both enjoyed doing and I think I’m going to miss that a lot, and I’m going to miss having a partner," he said.
Born Nov. 18 1944, Joan grew up in the Fergus countryside with her three sisters. She would go to high school in Fergus, meeting her future husband there. The two got married at the ages of 19 and 20, building their family home together in Fergus.
“I feel we got along really well, we both really thought a lot of each other,” said John about Joan. “I respected anything she wanted to do and did, and she respected anything I wanted to do or did, and we did things together, we seldom spent time apart.”
Never one to sit still, Joan and her husband were involved in many community groups, from the Fergus Horticultural Society to the Elora Square Dancers, right up until the pandemic.
One of Joan's friends and member of the Fergus Horticultural Society, Doreen Broone, said Joan was known as "kind, fun loving, loved dancing and loved life."
"We hadn’t really known each other for a long time, but I felt that we had a lot in common, and I will miss her terribly," she said.
John explains he and Joan started getting involved in the community when they both volunteered with their son's hockey team. John helped to coach and manage the team, while Joan helped raise funds for the organization.
"We had great times back then with other parents, got to know other people, we had really good people to work with,” John said about that experience. “Some of the best times we’ve ever had were involved in stuff like that, with hockey and with skating, yeah we enjoyed that.”
"Mom was so incredibly supportive, whether it was me in hockey or my sister in figure skating or ball, she just gave and gave and gave, and she did so much, and that’s just not for us, she did that for the entire organization," said Glen Cumming. "That’s something I even remember back then being proud of my parents. They were very much in the forefront of these organizations, helping them to stay strong and vibrant."
Growing up, Joan also supported her daughter's figure skating by becoming a treasurer on the board for the organization. Donna West said her mother was always somehow involved or connected to what her kids were doing, from participating in bake sales to personalizing stuff.
Joan was even involved in larger efforts, like securing a new gymnasium for her children's elementary school, Victoria Terrace Public School.
"She was part of a parent group that fought to get a larger gym, we didn't even have a gym actually," Donna said about her mother's involvement. "I didn't know that other parents didn't do all of that, that was just what I knew."
As a family, both Glen and Donna mention they were very close with their parents, especially as they became adults.
"She always put family first," said Glen, “I think we have one of the most tight families that I know of."
With her love of life, most people may not have known Joan experienced health problems. In 1988, she underwent nine months of chemotherapy for cancer in both lungs. Although Joan recovered, the treatment left her with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).
Because Joan rarely complained, Glen and Donna said they didn't realize the seriousness of her condition until later on.
"I think it was such a rough time for her, that I remember her saying that she would never do it again because it was such a negative experience for her," said Glen, who mentions Joan's father passed away that same year.
Later in life, Joan was also diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent radiation therapy to have the lump removed, causing further strain on her lungs.
“She had a lot of sickness over her years and I think that made her really, really compassionate to other people and she always had time to listen and to listen to other people’s stories more than her own, she was really good at that," John said.
This past September, Joan began experiencing a lot of trouble with her COPD, and started feeling weak.
"We went in to see what was going on, they did a CAT scan and found out she was full of cancer," said John, "so we didn’t know until the 17th of September that she wasn’t going to make it.”
With her condition, Joan made the decision to go home and to live out the rest of her life in comfort. In the last three months, John said he, Donna and Glen looked after Joan, practically living in her bedroom. Even if Joan wasn't feeling well, John said she never showed it, always welcoming social visits from friends and neighbours.
“We had a lot of good times in there," said John. "She had her birthday in there, we had thanksgiving in there, and we watched tv in there, friends came in to have some fun and Joan was pretty much the same lady up until the last week or so."
While the diagnosis was a negative experience, Donna agrees it was a nice opportunity for her mom to have her family together, especially during Thanksgiving.
"That meant a lot to my mom, because that didn't happen that often because we all didn't live very close together," she said.
During this time, the family notes receiving many cards, along with flowers and food from the community. Glen notes his dad must have received at least 100 cards.
“I really didn’t understand the impact my mother had on people, and they all kind of said the same thing, she was always positive, always friendly, always outgoing,” said Glen. “I never saw my mom particularly through that lens, but now, I read those cards and see those things from other people and she definitely was one amazing person.”
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